“What about encouraging men to talk with their partners about sex, find out what they do and don’t want to do, and get an enthusiastic “yes” before proceeding? Teaching men communication skills that will lead to a happy “yes” is more productive than ordering them to respect a “no,” especially since not all sexual violence survivors verbally say “no” when they’re being assaulted.”—
SEXPress :: Men and Sexual Violence: Moving Beyond ‘No Means No’ :: The Shepherd Express: Milwaukee’s best guide to events, music, news and dining (via sexxxisbeautiful)
This is true. When I was raped, I could hardly say no. It was painful and fast and I didn’t have time to react or fight. I cried and writhed and tried to get away, but there wasn’t much of the actual word “no” in there, since I was trying to - you know - breathe.
Sometimes I wonder if it was my fault. That if I had said no more clearly maybe he would have stopped. But that’s ridiculous. He wouldn’t have. Fighting, crying - the fact that I was clearly disinterested in him the whole night - that should have been enough of an indicator.
