It doesn’t matter if you really liked me. It doesn’t matter if you loved me. If you cared about me and then made the conscious decision to damage me anyway, it makes it worse, and if you cared about me and didn’t understand what you were doing would break me, I never needed that kind of love.
What I mean when I say “I can’t do that”- Anxiety Version:
- I am unable to do that
- I am too stressed out to do that
- I cannot face the humiliation of attempting to do that
- My body will physically not allow me to do that
- I am on the verge of a panic attack
- I cannot do that
What people hear:
- I am unwilling to do that
- I am just shy
- I am overreacting
- I am lazy
- I need to get more experience in social situation to help my anxiety
- I need a push
- I don’t want to do that
Inspired by X
For a long time I wasn’t
entirely sure I wanted to
put myself back together,
because letting go of the
sadness would mean I
had to redefine myself.
And sometimes, I still feel
like chasing the darkness,
because I don’t exactly
know who I am without
it. I realised I made a
home out of something I
should have never let in. — (via sarang-ham-ni-da)
(Source: wordscanbeenough, via spazzplosion)
I am wasting my time.
(Source: victorianhouses, via egberts)
You want me to write about you,
But I have.
I can’t give poems about you, to you.
You don’t really want to see yourself in my fear;
I don’t really want you to see yourself in anything else.
You could bottle the way I feel about you.
Sell it like water,
Sell it like wine,
Sell it like liquor at the drugstore:
Really cheap, even considering its flaws,
And with the knowledge that a change in ownership is not actually a change in liability
(Even if the law says it is).
I can’t tell you I love you.
I mean, I can, will. I will even tell you
I’m in love with you.
But I can’t tell you with the right words,
Because my feelings have been
Presented for your consideration amongst a selection of similar things, with similar names, from similar brands.
How can I write you the poem you want to hear
When you also don’t want a lie?
I’m not dancing with joy about how I love you.
I’m afraid of the fact that I can’t fight you off,
That your heart and my heart are greater than my self,
That my self is weaker than your words.
That will embarrass you.
How can I write my love when it is merchandise I don’t have in stock?
Back in May I had a wonderful photoshoot with my friend Megan! We spent the afternoon and evening together, took lots of lovely photos, and caught up. And she wanted to share these on tumblr so here’s a few posts of what we accomplished, hehe.
Photographer: Allyssa (me)
Photographer: Allyssa (me)
When he says
He doesn’t love you anymore,
Roll your shoulders back
And look him in the eye
Even when it feels like your ribs
Are breaking inward, like spider legs.
When he digs up old aches
That he swore he forgave you for,
And ask him why he didn’t leave you sooner.
Ignore the way the words feel like sandpaper
Running all the way up your throat to your mouth.
When he blames you
For mistakes that wear his face,
Do not scream.
Do not cry.
Tell him that there are boys
Who would be proud to say they’d loved you.
Tell him that in two years
You won’t even remember his name
And don’t let him see the way you can taste your own lie.
When he leaves
Ignore the howling in your blood
And do not get up after him.
Not even to lock the door.
Do not, do not
Smell his shirts when you box them up
To give them back.
Swear off dating when you realize
You’re chasing ghosts that wear his smile.
It’s okay to cry over him.
It’s even okay to forgive him.
But do not go back to him.
If he did not know how to love you the first time,
He won’t know how to do it the next. — How To Pretend It Doesn’t Hurt, by Ashe Vernon (via latenightcornerstore)
the reason male comic book fans work themselves into a frenzied rage over “fake geek girls" is because they think they can’t get a girlfriend because of their love for comic books (a.k.a nerdiness). if they accept that geek girls genuinely love comic books, then they’re left with the cold harsh reality that it’s not their nerdiness that makes them unattractive to women, but the fact that they are misogynistic condescending dickbags who need to be avoided AT ALL COSTS